


Little Starfighter

by eliaatan



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, longing glances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22660528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliaatan/pseuds/eliaatan
Summary: Convinced he ruins everything he touches, isolated and lonely Ben Solo successfully pushes everyone away, except for the girl who sees something in him she recognizes.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	Little Starfighter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fic_me_senseless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fic_me_senseless/gifts).



Ever since he was a small child, all he wanted to do was become a pilot.

Ben Solo grew up with many war stories of how his father and mother - Alderannian Princess Leia Organa and Corellian smuggler Han Solo - saved the galaxy with his uncle and famous Jedi master Luke Skywalker. He had fond memories of him and his father working on his beloved YT-1300 light freighter or as it was famously known as the _Millenium Falcon._ When Han was out of town on business, Ben would stay home and tinker with the ins and outs of the beloved ship. There was one conversation that still haunted him to this day.

_“Dad, one day I will be a pilot just as good as you were in the war.”_   
_“Oh yeah? You want to be better than your old man?”_   
_“No, I just want to be like you. I want to go on adventures and save the galaxy.”_

He remembered his father laughing and gently ruffling his hair. Han had given up that life years ago, and after his son was born, his own desires were put on the back burner for a while. Many of his father’s former comrades had questioned how he would handle caring for another human life because let’s be honest...Han wasn’t the settle down and have a family kind of man.

It was no surprise that Han himself had his own doubts about parenthood but once his son came into the world, raising a child came almost as easily as piloting a ship.

Well...almost. There were quite a few mistakes made in the first few months of Ben’s young life, but he quickly learned and adapted to what he had done wrong. The former comrades who had questioned Han’s potential as a parent were soon impressed with how well he handled having a child. Those same people also saw the young boy as a rising prodigy when he began to work on ships with his old man.

Life for Ben was good for the first decade of his life. He had loving parents, and while they may not have always been there due to work-related responsibilities, he was growing into a capable and acceptable young man.

Then one day, his life changed when he was told he was being sent away. His mother had told him he was going to train as a Jedi with her brother and his uncle - Master Luke Skywalker. Ben had barely known the man but he had heard many stories of how he saved the galaxy and brought the infamous Darth Vader back to the light side shortly before his death. It was a blow to the young boy’s dreams of becoming a pilot, but instead of questioning his mother and protesting against the change he packed up his things and left to train at his uncle’s temple.

Temple life was good...for a while. He learned a lot from his estranged uncle and quickly became one of his most promising and strongest students there. The others revered him and Luke took a lot of interest in his young nephew’s potential. Everything seemed to be going according to plan until that fateful night. It was something that Ben never liked to think about and one he wished he could just forget completely. But to experience the firsthand betrayal of someone you thought loved you wasn’t anything that could be forgiven so easily.

He knew that Luke had told everyone he had been responsible for all of the untimely deaths of his fellow students. Unlike his uncle who had been unconscious under his hut’s rubble for a brief period of time, Ben watched as the temple and his friends burned in the fire. It was the same night that he earned the name “Jedi Killer” when in fact the only thing he had actually done wrong was defended himself against someone who attempted to kill him in his sleep.

One could say that was also the very reason he had lost all trust in those around him...and they would be absolutely right. He had become something he wasn’t proud of and did so many things that he regretted. But despite all of that, there was one person whose faith in him never wavered.

It was Rey - the scavenger from the desolate world of Jakku who found his father’s beloved freighter and gave it life again. He had spent years looking for it but never would have guessed that the so-called “garbage” was still around. Now the girl who was so desperate to save him had his ship...and he wanted it back. He had tried to reason with her, but she was too stubborn to even listen to what he had to say.

“Why do you want it anyway? I thought you hated your father.”  
“I never hated him...in fact, when I was younger, I wanted to be a pilot just like he was.”  
“Oh. Well, you have plenty of ships. Do you really need this one?”

He froze and stared at her through their force bond before quickly looking back down at the ground again. It was a strange phenomenon that neither of them really understood yet. But moments like this were some that he secretly cherished the most...only because he was-

“Lonely.”

He snapped out of it and looked up at her once more.

“Excuse me?”

“Lonely. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on inside that head of yours...why you’re doing the things you're doing. I know what it is now because I’ve felt it too - you’re lonely.”

He took a step back and shook his head. How could he let her read him so easily? What facial expression did he have that had given it away?

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I am most certainly not lonely. I am Ky-”

“You’re Ben Solo. The son of Han Solo and General Leia Organa...and student of Jedi master Luke Skywalker. You’ve walked down a path you regret because you lost trust in those who were supposed to care about you, and honestly, I can’t say I blame you.”

Rey stopped for a moment and waited to hear if he had anything to say. When there was silence, she continued.

“You were betrayed by your master and blamed for a crime you didn’t commit. Now you’re leading an army of tyrants because it gives you power and a sense of belonging. But Ben...this isn’t you. There is still good in you - I can feel it in the Force. You’re struggling between light and dark because you don’t know who you can trust.”

Silence remained between the two as he tried to take in everything she was saying to him. What could she possibly know about what he had been through? About being sent away and abandoned by those he loved?

Oh. Now he understood.

“I’ve waited on Jakku my entire life for my parents to come and find me. But now I know that’s not going to happen...you said that much yourself.”

She looked him in the eyes, and it was then he saw the fire in them. His entire life he has successfully pushed everyone away because he believed they would only betray him in the end somehow. Nobody could know the kind of pain that he felt because of that. But as he stood there, he could see that she was the only one who did.

“Han and Leia sent you away because they were scared of your power. My parents left me for dead on a forsaken planet just to earn a little extra cash...I cannot say I have a complete understanding of what you have experienced, but I can confidently say that I do at least know. You’re not alone Ben. Not anymore.”

Rey had taken a few steps closer in their bond. He could feel his heart race in his chest. His mind went back to the night on the island where they touched hands through the dyad for the first time.

“I...I just…” He paused and looked down at the golden dice in his hand. He had recovered it after the Battle of Crait. The pair of dice had once belonged to his father and he had used them to win the Falcon in a bet.

_“Is that Ben? What is he doing?”_   
_“Oh, he’s carrying that old pair of dice again. He never leaves his father’s side.”_   
_“Kind of odd for a toddler don’t you think?”_   
_“Nah. He swears up and down to anyone who will listen that he will be a pilot one day. Just like his dad.”_   
_“Oh. That’s a very big dream for such a young child....but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. He is Han and Leia’s son, after all.”_

The memory came back like a flood. It was true - he never left his father’s side. He was practically glued to his hip. So why had he...no. He couldn’t think about that. He had his regrets even though he was sure it would alleviate all of the pain and confusion he had felt.

But that’s the thing. It didn’t.

Now all he wanted to do was see his father again. One last time.

“Ben...it’s not too late. You can still change.”

He looked over at Rey and locked eyes with her. It was then he had noticed how beautiful she really was. Her eyes were still full of that fire he had seen earlier and her hair a bit of a tangled mess from all of the fights she had endured. Her saber was resting peacefully on her hip while the wind of wherever she was in the galaxy gently blew her Jedi robes. They were reminiscent of what she had worn when she was still just a scavenger on Jakku, but somehow they fit the traditional Jedi look.

To anyone on the outside, it would look like he was longing for something - perhaps even longing for her.

“I-”

“Rey! Come on! Are you coming?”

She turned around as another voice interrupted their moment. Rey let out a heavy sigh and looked at him again.

“I’m sorry...this will have to wait until another time. Please think about what I said. It’s never too late to change, Little Starfighter.”

He gasped and within an instant, the dyad was broken. He was alone in his chambers again. What had she called him? No, there was no way she could have known…

At that moment, Ben fell to his knees and let out a cry. She had called him by his childhood nickname. He had wondered who in the world he could have possibly told her. Then he remembered that he had rifled through her memories upon their first meeting in an attempt to find the map to his former master.

It never occurred to him that perhaps she could do the same thing.

_“See you around, Little Starfighter.”_

He heard voices in his head often, but this one was one of comfort. It was his father.

“Dad...I’m so sorry. I miss you.” He whispered.

When he had heard the rapid approach of footsteps approaching his chambers, he knew that the troops were coming to see what was going on. So he stood up, put the dice in his pocket, and took a deep breath. She believed in him. Maybe one day, he could believe in himself too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I had a really good time writing this. It is a small part of a large Reylo fic exchange and I was very excited to be brought on and do this for a fellow fan. I was given several prompts and went with the one that I felt I could excel in, and I genuinely believe I did. I hope that the recipient of this story enjoys it and that I can write more stories like this sometime soon!


End file.
